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| Why I Turned Out So Bad . . . We can’t help being shaped by our surroundings, especially when we’re kids. I grew up with one of the most unkempt, bad-mannered individuals I’ve ever met. He absolutely hated baths. He thought nothing of relieving himself in front of the whole world. He ate directly off the floor if he had to and begged shamelessly from anyone who had something he liked. His sexual appetites were enormous. He would stroke his own privates lying on the floor in front of everybody. He had a tongue fetish and would lick the bodies of perfect strangers. He insisted on singing along with anybody in the house who tried to make music, despite the fact that he couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. He also had very little self-control and would run around the house making noise at the top of his lungs whenever one of his favorites came home. He had a bad temper. He would bite and scratch at others if they did something he didn’t like. With such terrible examples, it is no wonder I turned out the way I did. He was, of course, our dog. ©2006, John G. Cunyus All Rights Reserved John Cunyus is freelance writer working in North Texas. His work may be viewed online at www.johncunyus.com |